yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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