Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
