Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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