imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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