it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
