connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
