he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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