She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize