can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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