gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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