I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just cropdusted the office
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
