Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There's even glitter on my cock...
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