I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
