my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
