i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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