I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
