yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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