What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
