No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize