a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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