but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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