The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
