I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
