If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
