butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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