the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize