My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize