Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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