I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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