I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
