The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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