If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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