i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
