I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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