I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I only lived at night.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize