He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
