this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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