was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
