There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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