the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
