Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
