Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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