I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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