I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
