You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
