He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
