There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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