Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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