I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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