He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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