so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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