Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
