My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
