I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
