I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize