I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have post one night stand depression
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