just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize