Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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