rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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