He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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