dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
